No is a shit answer

When you're shooting in the furthermost reaches of Europe, where the film industry is still in its infancy, it's not uncommon to encounter a more rudimentary style of production: hysterical, but totally ineffectual 1st ADs; crippled, ghetto-ass equipment; somnolent sparks that make AFM's finest seem like the keenest runner, desperate to impress the boss - inevitably daddy's old pal - on their first day; wired, sketchy line producers who for the duration of the pre-production have been telling you 'yes', until the day of the shoot arrives and everything you've asked for fails to materialise, leaving you to smoke a big, fat pipe of 'no'.

Yep shooting abroad can be rough. As a director you have to work twice as hard. Often you're left thanking the lord that the budget was just enough to cover travelling a D.O.P from the UK - or cursing the cunts at the label who beat up your producer so bad that the only way you could afford to fly over a D.O.P was by throwing in your entire fee, which was pretty much fuck all to begin with. Either way a cameraman with an appetite for a fight might just get you out of this shit with a video and your reputation in tact.

And if you're talking the hardest Ross McLennan better pop up in your thoughts as an artist. Because Ross is punk as fuck. He doesn't care. Homeboy's gonna get the shot for you every time. Here he is on the set of The Twang shoot in Montenegro doing some Crocodile Dundee style witchery:


And here he is again with focus puller Joe Maples, another one cast in the warrior mold:


If you're gonna light a job for Atlantic you'd better be prepared to hang out the back of a moving car. Tracking vehicle? Don't be a pussy. Where we're going we don't need roads.


Ed and James make up the directing team DARYL:


The Twang were teasing Ed about the fact that he looks a bit like Paul Calf.


Shooting abroad is an experience, but in the end there's no place like home. For instance last Friday I overheard the following conversation in Best Kebab and discovered that you can get credit there.

"Hello mister Jamal. How are you boss?"

"Yes cuz yes. Can I have meat and chips please cuz? Shake the salt properly yeah. Chili sauce and mayo. No salad you get me cuz. Stick it on my bill please bruv."

Imagine being able to get a doner on tick. Some things in England are just better.